when it happened & it starts changing

"Timing"...when the right one comes and it changed...

; by now the so called predominate master would love & feel free to have this happy ending and yes ...is finally... 

Making a step to walk out the door is extremely pain for her; there is a lot of courage needed... She tried, holding hard & to safe the relationship for months...months by walking through the sorrowful path all by herself -  to understand, accept, appreciate what God has arrange for her especially with the grievous wound she’s experiencing. During that very moment, no one can understand how deep the wound cut but only her own. No matter how bad it hurts or depressed, she still never stop believing that the feeling they been through was honest - the lovely moments & its truth ~ they were in Love! She never feel disappointed not even regretted for their past, continue to be supportive, strong, independent and focus in order to balance the square he mentioned. She’s been through the hardest times ever to accept all these happened. She felt suffering - not eating, not sleeping, feeling sorrow & isolated herself by just crying, come to a point that she wanted to end her life& feeling so depressed & negative. She used to drive with tears, walked down the street with miserable face & tears, things or venue they’ve been before will ended up attack her with soreness tears, is just out of control, wonder is this called: “heartbreak”. Friends around telling her to be strong and tell her that everyone been through this kinda pain, it's just part of our life, she can deserve someone better. "He doesn't love you anymore or even at all" so just move on...MOVE ON!!!

“…spent 2 hours sitting in front of lappie, staring at the inbox can’t even reply a word…

“…forcing by colleagues & friend to eat some food…& rest…due to the red popping eyes”

“…celebrating some seasonal occasion alone…”

“…felt tonne of knifes break-through her heart then cut into pieces…used to swim alone & stayed under the water as long as she can hold her breath”

“…went for gym, classes, sport or even get some drinks just to make her tired & sleep without taking the sleeping pills…”

She tried to understand, learned, filled her schedule packed with all the activities just to re-act & accepts the friendship between them…

~ Summer breeze; brought the cupid love back near them again feeling of cherish in the air…
Month in & out… she never thought this will happened for them. “Sweet memories, sharing, laugher, hugging…back to them” during this “in love” moment, a lot of promises made & shared about the things happened for the past few months when they apart… Summer cupid love has pulled them close and is almost…they are just completely comfortable to share everything together, calling each other “Darling”. However, fear in them has just hold them back for moving forward even a single step. This feeling doesn’t last long, perhaps something more important has caught his attention after all.
Again, these caused disappointment - on her birthday month, trip, dinner, promises he has made during the summer. As she starts to recall, the disappointment of all promises has started year ago HK trip, forgot her birthday while she standing right in front of him because he was chatting on a hammock with another her, a promise message from delivery card “to celebrate every of her birthday together for her entire life” & the interesting part is all are empty promises.

No matter what happened, she accept and will still be supportive to him no matter what happened to him. Whenever things happened to him, when he needs her she will be there for him.
.
Because she love him.

. her mind starts to workout consciously by looking at the facts & all the empty promises happened. She decided to accept all his excuses by taking it easily.
.
When “lies” in place.
 .
With forget & forgive…The girl accepts & stop to bang her head to the wall over and over again, she believes in faith, & HIM.
 
“Cheated” - for her this is unacceptable, especially from the one she loves.
. a big slap on face & woke her up by telling her the facts. Yes, her heartbreak into pieces & has fly away like dusts. She doesn’t want to hate him because she loves.

.END. She made a very brave move at last because she knows she can’t hold back anymore, she knows that he doesn’t love her from the very beginning. She deserve better and she needs to have peace of mind to focus, letting him go is painful but wanting him to be happy and successful is what she wants and wish to see. Loving him but she never regret

.she started with her 30 days…& wrote this:-

“I’m sorry! Please forgive me with my selfishness! Timing is the keys, I can’t balance anymore, thank you for giving me so much of SWEET memories, love you! ”

never stop believing,

DDP